So life has been more and more interesting lately. Many instances where I thought I was doing the right thing, but wasn’t doing it the right way… Those are definitely the moments that jerk life into perspective. I’ll assume that people know what I’m talking about and if they don’t then they really don’t need to know everything. The one thing I can share is that my name is Randy Burghdoff and I’m a screw up…. But I’m learning to take responsibility for those things and to make amends and hope that forgiveness is a word in people’s vocabulary.
I’ve learned that when it comes to issues of gray, I am very black and white. I don’t see this as a negative trait. It makes decisions to be rather simple for me. Right is right, wrong is wrong…. I think conditions confuse this and ultimately are used as excuses or crutches. I have no specific examples to back this up… it’s just how I feel. The wonderful thing about that mindset is you can agree or disagree and I can care or not care. We all seem to have different things that move us and keep us in check. I seek truth… I don’t like to lie and I hate being lied to. So I try to be a very blunt and honest person. Most people I know, know this about me and understand that my honesty cuts through the fat and addresses the issue. Because the people who know me, know this, I am not one to strategize and tread softly… I am very much the kind of person to charge in headlong and knock anything in my way off to the side to reach the goal. Because people know me… they can see it coming and usually move the valuable things out of the way (such as pride, sensitivity, etc.) and just let me get to the point. But I have realized that in my comfort with those close to me… I have treated others who are not close to me in the same way. I trampled on their defences and charged my way into a situation where the person was not understanding of my action and was not ready to receive my words… instead I was met with someone who was broken down and distraught with the wake of my path and the confusion of my presence.
I justify such actions as holding someone accountable and trying to show them love, tough love…. but love nonetheless. But in the aftermath and the reconciliation I realized one key component in my quest, familiarity. It’s easy for me to show love in the ways of guidance… but without knowing the paths that people have tread… How can guidance even be explained? This is where my heart sank and I realized the error of my ways… not by the judgmental words of spectators. But by the tears and words of the innocent that I had scarred… How could I possibly hold accountable a person that I barely knew? I couldn’t and I couldn’t expect them to listen.
I’ll have you know that now I have seem my sin and am shameful of it… but I know that God is good and gracious. I also know that the one I have hurt is forgiving, much like her Father. We have been talking and getting to know each other. I think I’m doing it right this time…
For those of you reading this, take one thing from it if anything at all…. Knowing people is key to guiding people.
God Bless,
Randy
Jon Hatter Said:
on 13/10/2007 at 2:36 PM
I think that might be why we are called to be a (look out…I’m gonna sound like Carter) Community: a group of people who know and love one another unconditionally, all the time. If you don’t love on me when I do things right, don’t come breathing down my neck when I do something wrong and call it love. If it were love it would have been there from the start. I think the lesson you’ve learned is a good one and one that will strengthen your life, your ministry, your relationships, and your overall witness. Love you, bro.
Jonathan Jess Hatter
josimmons Said:
on 14/10/2007 at 3:52 AM
The words you speak are true, and I am glad that you did not find yourself in an irreconcilable situation. I find your truths to be more and more evident as I pursue my own ministry and I have to realize that just because I was a high-schooler, I am not one anymore. I can no longer assume that I know what these kids are going through just because I was their age once; it can be painfully humbling. Much love…and I missed you in CT.
Jon Hatter Said:
on 03/11/2007 at 4:05 PM
RYC – We normally get tickets as Christmas presents and it looks like they’re just too expensive this year…more financial crap. We should be used to be it I suppose.
Vincent Said:
on 10/12/2007 at 3:55 PM
Thank you for the comment. I needed to hear it. Its nice to know i’ve still got you in my corner. Thanks Randy.
Jon Hatter Said:
on 15/02/2008 at 1:47 PM
You should change the title of this post to “Hey…do you ever post?” I’m just sayin’